Tuesday, September 19, 2006
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4:13 am
i've been freaking out the past few days. i guess it all boils down to the fact that i don't know what to expect. at all. no idea. zilch. but i feel abit more relaxed today, surprisingly. it's tomorrow! omg. omg. omg. Ya Allah, please give me the strength. please let it turn out fine. Amin.
they told me that "the first time will always be fun". (jgn pikir bukan2 eh) you see, i'm more apprehensive than i am nervous. they could tell how worried i was. they've been very nice too...but somehow i get even more nervous when they're like that. kinda like, "yep, you have every reason to be nervous that's why we're nicer to you, hoping you feel comforted". i guess i'm also afraid to let you all down. boohoo.
im so sorry i behaved like a selfish bitch, though. but i couldn't help it. i just can't wait for it to be over and done with.
will you, my friends, please pray for me that everything will turn out great and that i come out of this unscathed, please? Amin.
who will i meet? what will i have to do? who do i talk to when i'm nervous? what do i talk about? will there be other girls? will they be nice? oh, nevermind...i'll talk to asri. since he's my age, i'm sure there's SOMETHING to talk about. like how his hair is longer than mine. and how i neither listen nor understand the kind of music he's into........
AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
see you in two day's time...
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